Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Witches Wanted: Get paid to be a Gardner Village witch

Welcome, Witches! Are you tired of feeling witch discrimination? Never any place to park your broom! Shoe stores that don’t cater to the pointy-toed! Grocery stores fresh out of the toad and wart ingredients you need to make your latest concoctions? Yes, enough is enough. It’s high time you find yourself in a place of true witch acceptance—a new home where you’ll run supreme. That place: Gardner Village! And it’s looking to add new members to its witchy wonderland at WitchFest 2015. So open up that spells-and-appointments book and mark August 29th on your calendar!

That’s right; we’re hosting Witch Auditions this Saturday, August 29th at 10 AM, and we want to meet you! 

What does it take to be a Gardner Village Witch, you ask? Well, you must be willing to keep up with the landscaping. Well, maybe not.

You had better have an insatiable sweet tooth.

You certainly must know your way around a spell or two. 

You should have a willingness to kiss errrrr, walk the various Gardner Village animals as needed. 

And you must play well with others. 

Ohhh.. and the following qualifications don’t hurt either:

1. You must have full availability during October, as a witch’s work is never done. Also, there will be four days in September that your Six Hags Witches Adventure habitat at Cricket Hollow Swamp will be open, so we ask that you have availability in September also.

2. Availability to take part in early morning television spots to promote Gardner Village.

3. You must be at least 18 years of age. 

To prepare for your audition, have the following ready: 

* A full understanding of your background and witch persona, as well as a life story for your witch.

* Your own costume in a genre that fits with your specific witch.

* Be prepared with a three-minute performance/interaction, highlighting your witch persona, including attention getters and ways to interact with Gardner Village guests. 

Witchy Wisdom
Wanting to help you prepare for your time in the slime-light, two of our witches, Lucinda (left) and Brazzilla (that's double Z, double L,-to the right), have answered a few questions for you here: 

Q1: How did you get started as a Gardner Village witch?

Lucinda: I was flying on my broom during a full moon. I looked down upon Gardner Village and saw with my old, worn out eyes the magical witch displays. I knew then, I belonged with like-minded witches. 

Q2:  What advice do you have for other witches who hope to join your Gardner Village gaggle of witches?

Brazzilla: Know who you are as a witch, get a fabulous wardrobe, and practice your witch voice and cackle! You don’t have to be perfect—just be outgoing and fun and willing to learn from the best. We will help mold you into your best witchy self. 

Q3: Describe a typical day for a Gardner Village witch.

Lucinda: We meet at Cottage Retreat Day Spa to have our warts enhanced. Before going out for an enchanted evening, we always spray our long rat-nest locks with scare spray. We gather slimy toads in the pond and occasionally Crazy Cora makes us trap a mouse to help train her black Halloween cats.

Won't You Be Our Witchy Neighbor?
We're looking for 10-12 new witches to join our brew-haha! One of those 12 spots might as well belong to you! Join us this Saturday, August 29th at 10 AM in The Gathering Place for your chance to have a cackling good time this Halloween season at Gardner Village's WitchFest. Click here for more information, including a contact phone number and a link to your online witch application. 

And the Winner Is…
Before we go, we have a winner to announce. These lucky ladies knew the correct spells to cast to each win a $25 shopping spree to Spoiled Rotten:

Congratulations Melissa Morris & Jayne Vance! Please e-mail us at for details on claiming your prize.

Megan Hoeppner

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